What is the most persecuted race in recorded history? Everyone knows the answer: the Jews, even if they aren’t really a race.

Persecuted, my ass.

Jewish persecution can be divided into five primary periods. First, they were kept as slaves in ancient Egypt. Next, the Romans drove them out of Israel, sparking an exodus to Europe. During the Middle Ages, the Jews were persecuted mercilessly by Christians, for no logical reason whatsoever.

The mother of all persecutions was the Holocaust, which was the worst atrocity ever. The evil Nazis slaughtered no less than six million Jews in gas chambers. Today, we’ve entered a terrible new phase where people who are incensed by something as trivial as a genocide in Gaza are making “antisemitic” comments about Jews. The horror!

Let me set the record straight . . .

Researchers have found no evidence to support the claim that Jews ever lived in ancient Egypt or that there was a mass diaspora from Israel to Europe. Both claims are myths (or lies).

As for the Middle Ages, are you joking? Everyone was persecuted during the Middle Ages! There was widespread warfare between Christians and Muslims and even between different Christian sects (e.g. Catholics vs Protestants). People accused of being witches were burned at the stake. Some of history’s most renowned scientists were even burned at the stake.

What was the life of the average non-Jewish citizen like? Most were peasants, serfs, or peons. They were little more than slaves for royal families. If you could travel back in time and spend one day in their shoes, you would probably vomit. Their homes and sanitation were abysmal, and their food must have been nauseating. How many women died in child birth? How many people were killed by the Black Plague?

Most European peasants probably would have given their right arm to be a “court Jew.” These were Jews who were adopted by royal households because they knew how to manipulate money, unhampered by ethical restraints.

Of course, not all Jews were court Jews. They were ruled by the same royal families and ate the same shit as non-Jewish peasants. They were more likely to be targeted for their religion. They might have also been victims of superstition—similar to all those witches who were burned alive—though it is hard to know the truth. This aspect of Jewish persecution is probably wildly exaggerated.

Scientists have found genetic that the Ashkenazi Jews did experience a population bottleneck 600-800 years ago. In other words, their population crashed. This bottleneck is credited with the genetic maladies that are so common among Ashkenazi Jews today. However, we should also note the incest that Jews are so famous for. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin are among the many Jews who married their first cousins.

The Jewish population crash is commonly blamed on anti-Jewish uprisings (aka pogroms). It is further claimed (primarily by the Jews) that the Jews were innocent victims.

The Magna Carta, which is often described as the forerunner of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, includes two clauses designed to protect citizens from Jewish moneylenders.

In fact, Euroeans often had some very logical reasons for hating Jews. They were widely hated for practicing usury. Many people also believed they were being screwed, or exploited, by the Jews. This belief was held by many Germans, including Adolf Hitler. If you study German history, you may discover that Germany was indeed screwed by the Jews, both internally and externally. The situation in the U.S. today is eerily similar.

Just to play devil’s advocate, let’s pretend everything you just read is bullshit. European Jews really were unfairly persecuted throughout the Middle Ages, even being driven to the brink of extinction. Better yet, suppose they had been exterminted. So what?

Are Jews the only group of people who have been persecuted? Such a claim would be ludicrous. The mere fact that European Jews survived suggests that they are among history’s most fortunate. In plain English, countless groups of people have been not only persecuted but exterminated.

But what about the Holocaust? It can be viewed as just the latest uprising by a European country that was fed up with being screwed by the Jews. Unfortunately, the Jews won, and they are screwing Germany just as vigorously today. (In other news, the claim that the Holocaust ranks as history’s worst atrocity is merely an opinion. It may not have even been the worst atrocity of the first half of the 20th century.)

In summary, Jews have doubtless faced more persection than some groups of people, but they have also faced less persecution than others. In addition, their persection has not always been illogical or unjust. To be brutally honest, I wish every Jew on the planet would fall over dead, and I’m hardly alone.

My feelings are hardly swayed by contemporary Jews with Holocaust welfare checks stuffed up their assholes who cry “antisemitism” every time someone criticizes them, other Jews, or Israel. They are history’s greatest crybabies.

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